Note: Today’s post is part of the Write 31 Days challenge. You can find the introduction and links to the posts in this series right here.
Yesterday, we talked about ways to Biblically confront our husbands - not an easy topic. Lord willing, there will be repentance when Biblical confrontation has to take place. And that leads us to today’s assignment:
Some of us will have a pretty easy time of it today - we have wonderful, Godly spouses who don’t often do things that need to be forgiven and who are quick to seek our forgiveness when they do.
But for others, this assignment is going to be hard. Even among Christian marriages, there are extramarital affairs, secret sins, and other deep-seated issues that aren’t easily forgiven. Sadly, I have seen marriages lost over one spouse’s refusal to forgive the other.
(Please note that forgiving him does not mean allowing him to continue in ungodly behavior. See the “Biblically confront him” post if needed.)
Truthfully, though, it doesn’t matter what our husbands have or haven’t done. We as believers are commanded to forgive one another, no matter how easy or difficult we find it to be. In fact, we have at least three reasons to forgive our spouses as believers.
Forgive because God has forgiven you
First and foremost, we are to forgive our husbands because as believers, God has forgiven us of far greater sin than our husbands have ever sinned against us. Ephesians 4:32 reads, “and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (NKJV).
I’ll just add here that there will be times when you need your husband’s forgiveness as well (this is certainly true in my marriage!). How would you feel if he refused to forgive you? Of course you want and need his forgiveness. This can also be a motivation for helping you to forgive your husband when he needs it.
Forgive because you are commanded to do so
Secondly, we are commanded in Scripture to forgive. As seen in the Ephesians passage above, we are to be “forgiving one another.” It’s not just a good thing to do or something we should consider if and when we feel like it. It is an absolute commandment to forgive others, including our husbands. We have no excuse not to forgive our spouses!
Forgive as a testimony to others
Lastly, we should forgive as a testimony to others. Matthew 5:16 says, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven” (NKJV).
Unbelievers are constantly watching us, noting how we handle a wide variety of situations. When we willingly and thoroughly forgive one another, it is evidence of the Holy Spirit dwelling within us and is a great testimony to those who are not yet saved.
Whether or not forgiving our husbands comes naturally to us, it’s something that’s vitally important to every marriage. Without forgiveness, we have no hope. God has forgiven us of so much; how can we not forgive our husbands in return?