Dear Little Princess,
As I mentioned earlier, many couples choose to wait several years before starting a family. As wonderful as it might sound to have some exclusive couple time before having a baby, it’s important to remember that children are a blessing and that life doesn’t always turn out how we expect and plan. Children should never be viewed as an inconvenience or a burden. They are God’s gift within marriage.
When Daddy and I were growing up, families of 4 (like mine) were considered to be on the smaller side of average, and families of 6 (like Daddy’s) were only thought to be slightly larger than average. It wasn’t uncommon to see families with 8 children or more. Today, I am constantly peppered with reminders of how unusual it is to see a family with four children, especially here in the Bay Area. I think society has lost sight of the fact that children are a blessing. In some instances, it almost feels as though kids are viewed as a burden.
Raising children is hard. You kids have an uncanny way of bringing out my worst flaws. Your ability to irritate my last nerve is incredible. And yes, I’ve lost sleep many nights since having children of my own. But those long nights and frustrating moments pale in comparison to the joy you’ve brought to Daddy and me. Seeing you smile for the first time, watching Turbo trying a new task, hearing Wing Man graciously helping Turbo with his diabetes…those moments far outstrip the hard times.
But nothing can compare to the joy of seeing moments of spiritual maturity in you and your brothers. I agree with John: “I have no greater joy than to hear [or see] that my children are walking in the truth” (3 John 1:4). This is why we became parents. This is what we pray for every single night. This is what raising children is about.
All of that said, I also have to remember that if/when you do grow in Godliness, it is neither Daddy’s nor my doing. We can plant the seeds, we can water with the Word, we can point you toward Christ, but only God can draw your hearts. If there were some magical way that we could guarantee that you all would grow up to believe in the Lord, then salvation would be as a result of an outward action on our part rather than by God’s grace. Works don’t save – not ourselves, and not our children, either. This is such an important point.
So, Little Princess, if the Lord blesses you with marriage and children, never forget that children are a blessing from God. Remember that you have an obligation to raise your children in a Biblical manner. But also remember that you cannot save them. You can, however, pray fervently for their salvation, which is what Daddy and I pray for every single night. We need to be faithful to do what God has called us to do, and we know that He will be Faithful and Just. There is so much security in His Goodness.
All my love,