Note: Today’s post is part of the Write 31 Days challenge. You can find the introduction and links to the posts in this series right here. Additionally, this post contains affiliate links. You can read my full disclosure policy here.
A few weeks ago, a very angry woman called my cell phone, livid that I had supposedly dialed her number. The only trouble was, I hadn’t called her! “If you didn’t call me, then how did I get your number to return the call?” she yelled. Trying to be as pleasant as possible (which is a challenge for me when someone else is angry), I suggested that perhaps I had accidentally bumped my phone or that one of my spark plugs had gotten a hold of it without my permission.
She was having none of it. I couldn’t figure out why it was such a sin to accidentally dial someone; after all, we’ve all done it at one time or another! After swearing at me, she hung up in a huff. I then checked my call history, and oddly, there was no record of an outgoing call to her number.
I told Jon about the experience just because I found it so incredibly odd.
“That’s actually a spam phenomenon,” he explained. Apparently, spammers can now “adopt” real cell phone numbers to make calls. On the angry woman’s end, it did indeed look like I had called her, but on my end, there was no record of the call because I hadn’t been the one to place it.
“Don’t worry,” Jon told me. “I’ll call her back and explained what happened.”
His conversation went even more poorly than mine had; the woman screamed at, swore at, and threatened him, all over a phone call that I had never placed. Jon was taken aback at how nasty she was. He, too, didn’t understand why she was so angry over what appeared on her end to be an accidental dial.
“She mentioned that she was married,” Jon told me after his conversation ended. “I can’t believe that she’s very nice to anyone, even her husband. Imagine coming home to a wife who treated you like that every day!”
We tend to think of women as the ones who need encouragement. Women often experience a wider range of emotions than men do, and so it makes sense that we might need a bit more lifting up when we’re feeling low. There’s nothing wrong with that; it’s how God created us!
But because women often need more encouragement than men, it’s easy to forget that men need to be cheered up and supported occasionally, too. Today’s assignment is to encourage your husband.
Jon was right about the angry cell phone lady: no husband wants to come home to a grumpy wife who’s always complaining about one thing or another. Though they rarely get the credit for it, most of our husbands are hard-working, diligent providers, many of whom are employed at less-than-enjoyable jobs. They come home physically tired and mentally worn out. The last thing they need is a nagging wife who can’t be pleased. What they need instead is to be encouraged and supported.
My challenge today to you (and to myself) is this: how do you behave when your husband gets home from work? Are you happy to see him or just relieved that you can now dump the responsibility of the kids onto him? Do you express your pleasure at having him home, or do you dive right into telling him how hard your day was?
(Note: Linda Dillow’s book What’s It Like Being Married to Me? is an excellent resource for helping wives readjust the way we treat our husbands. So convicting!)
There will be occasions when you simply won’t have good news to share. The loss of a loved one, the frustration over an errant child, and a host of other similar circumstances can crop up at a moment’s notice. But more often than not, I would challenge you to make a habit of being a welcoming encouragement to your husband rather than a constant complainer.
This is definitely an area where I’m still growing. If it’s been a long day of relentless sibling squabbles, I’m less likely to encourage Jon when he comes home than I am when school has gone well, I’ve cleaned the kitchen, and we’ve gotten some fresh air outside. But with the Holy Spirit’s help, I’m much better at cheering him on now than I was earlier in our marriage!
There are so many ways we can support and lift up our husbands. We can pray for them; challenge them to pursue their hobbies and interests (more on that tomorrow!); remind them that they’re doing a good job as a husband/father/provider; and give them a warm welcome home after a difficult day’s work.
How are you going to encourage your husband?