Note: Today’s post is part of the Write 31 Days challenge. You can find the introduction and links to the posts in this series right here.
“My husband and I just don’t work well together. He does his thing, and I do mine.”
“I could never start a business with my spouse. It just would NOT be good for our relationship!”
Have you ever heard someone say something similar to the above quotes? Have you yourself ever expressed a similar sentiment?
I’ve heard plenty of couples say that they don’t work well together. And honestly, it kind of makes me scratch my head! If they don’t work well together, in what areas are they compatible? While I don’t think that every couple needs to go out and start a business together, I do think we all could improve at working alongside our spouses, whether it be a home project, planning an event at church, or learning a new skill.
Why should we learn to work with our husbands when there are plenty of other people we could work with instead? Well, a husband and wife are a team, put together by God. If that team never learns to work together but instead always finds different people to fill in where the other spouse really ought to be, that husband-wife team isn’t going to be strengthened in the way that God designed.
The Bible has a lot to say about working together:
Psalm 133:1 - “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!” (NKJV)
Proverbs 27:17 - “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend” (NKJV).
1 Peter 3:8 - “Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous” (NKJV).
These verses are not explicitly written to husbands and wives, but they are written to all Christians. So, shouldn’t couples be even more inclined to work with their own spouses than even to work with the general body of believers? Absolutely! We spend more time with our husbands than with anyone else (except for the kids, perhaps). And so we should aim to work well together.
Jon and I certainly have our differences, and these often became very evident whenever we tried to work on our startup. But it’s funny: although working together revealed areas where we needed to be refined, it was also that same working together that actually did the refining!
Learning to work with your husband doesn’t mean that you never have your own hobbies, interests, or alone time. (As an introvert, I would curl up and die if I didn’t have a few minutes each day without seeing people, including my husband. There are times when we just need our own space.) It doesn’t mean that you never work with a friend, neighbor, or child without your husband alongside you. And it doesn’t mean that our spouses are always going to be the most suited people for the task at hand.
It simply shows that you are willing to learn and grow together, that you’re not afraid of working through a difficult task or chore with one another, and that you’re willing to sharpen one another for the sake of the Gospel.
Working with your husband may not be the easiest choice, but learning to work with one another is an amazing way to grow in your love for the Lord and in your love for one another. It will cultivate humility and sacrifice, two things that most of us need more of. It will be a testimony to the world around you that thinks husbands and wives were never meant to work with each other.
(Note: While working on today’s topic, I came across this post on Intentional Today that really drives home the husband-wife teamwork that the Lord desires us all to have. Such a good, short read!)
Above all else, learning to work together as a team glorifies God, because it fulfills the commandments He has given to all believers in general and to husbands and wives in particular.