Note: Today’s post is part of the Write 31 Days challenge. You can find the introduction and links to the posts in this series right here.
Yesterday, we talked about prioritizing our husbands. This isn’t always easy to accomplish, but today’s assignment is designed to help:
Create a haven for the two of you.
I’m not talking about an elaborate oasis filled with candles and luxury. But you do need a spot where the kids know not to interrupt you. For most couples, this will likely be your bedroom, but if you have little ones traipsing in and out or have toddlers who like to climb into bed with you, I’d suggest another spot like the couch or car where you can go if you need some kid-free space.
(Note: I’m not a big fan of excluding children from adult conversation unless the topic is one that little people should not be privy to. We try to get our spark plugs involved in business discussions, budgeting conferences, and world news conversations so that we can train, prepare, and equip them for adulthood. However, there are times when seclusion is needed, and sometimes, we adults just need a small, kid-free zone. Hence today’s assignment.)
You don’t have to possess a single interior decorating skill in order to do this, trust me! I don’t have a design bone in my body, either. You simply need an area that’s quick to tidy up so that clutter doesn’t cause frustration. (Confession: If you were to see my bedroom right now, you’d probably start to question whether or not I have the authority to write this, because my room is anything but organized at the moment!)
Jon and I actually have a few “zones” that work well for us. Our bedroom is one. Here’s another confession: I hate having kids in my room, and especially in my bed! I know that for some couples, having the kids join them for a lazy Saturday morning of sleeping in is a wonderful bonding time as a family. But I’m not one of them. My sense of personal space is just too wide to be comfortable with a bunch of wiggly, giggly littles packed in like sardines.
So, our room is pretty much off-limits to the spark plugs unless they need to use the back bathroom for brushing teeth or taking a shower. Because of this, our room makes a great kid-free haven for us.
Another area we’ve used is the couch. The spark plugs love cuddling and spending time with us there, but they know that if both Jon and I are there, we get to sit together without a kid in between. (Spark plugs are welcome to sit on either side of us, and they usually argue over whose turn it is to sit next to Mommy and Daddy. We’re still working on that whole arguing thing.)
While the couch doesn’t give us privacy for having adult-only conversation, it does allow us time to be together and helps us prioritize our marriage. It also is a gentle reminder to the kids that Jon and I still very much love one another and want to spend time together. Our hope is that they will recognize the value of spouses spending time with one another even after children enter the picture.
Last of all, Jon and I love going for drives together. It’s something we started on our honeymoon and have continued doing throughout our marriage. Again, when the spark plugs are with us, it’s not a kid-free environment, but we do get the chance to talk, dream, and think aloud with one another while enjoying the trip. And now that we have a teenager, we do occasionally get to drive just the two of us! It may only be to the grocery store a mile from our house, but still, those moments are a blessing.
You may need to get creative with today’s assignment, but it will go a long way toward helping you prioritize your marriage and showing your husband that you love him, want to spend time with him, and want his input. If you find a haven that works for you, share it with us in the comments so that we can help inspire one another!