Day 4: You Are Created in God's Image

Dear Little Princess,

Many people grow up believing that God has little or nothing to do with them, if they even believe in God at all.  But I want you to know that God has everything to do with you (and with every other person who has ever lived, as well).

He created you.  He loves you.  And He died for you.

Not only that, He designed you in His image.  Creating man in His own likeness is what sets us human beings apart from the animal kingdom.  We have souls.  We are eternal.  Whether we spend that eternity in Heaven with the Lord or in Hell with eternal damnation depends on whether or not we believe that Jesus, and only Jesus, can save us.  But whether or not we believe in God, that doesn’t change the fact that He is the Author of Life and that He is genuinely interested in our lives and wants to be a part of them.

Never forget that you are beautifully designed by God, and that He created you in His perfect image.  He didn’t make a mistake with you.  You’re not too tall or too short, too blond or too dark, or too spunky or too shy to fulfill His purpose for your life.  God never makes mistakes.

Sin can mar the beautiful image with which God created you, but repentance can also restore that image to it’s original beauty.  Although we will always have to live with the consequences of our sin, the God who created us is powerful enough to bring about beauty from our brokenness in ways that we could never imagine.  Don’t ever believe the lie that you’ve sinned too greatly to be forgiven or that you can never be used by God again.

When you’re tempted to sin, remember Whose image you bear.  Remember that you are setting an example to everyone around you, including me, Daddy, and your brothers.  Remember that the Earthly pleasures of this life are fleeting compared to the length of Eternity.  It’s not worth damaging God’s image.

All my love,

Mommy

Day 3: Jesus Is Our Perfect Example

Dear Little Princess,

Yesterday, when sharing about my imperfections, I mentioned that we need a Perfect Example to follow.  I can’t give you that perfect example, because while I’m alive on this Earth, I still have my old sin nature to deal with.  Everyone does.  But there is One sinless example we can follow:  Jesus Christ.

That’s the beauty the Christian life.  When our Earthly guides aren’t setting Godly examples at times, we have the perfect example of Christ to follow.  He was perfect in every way because He was God the Son Incarnate (that’s a fancy way of saying that He became 100% man while remaining 100% God).  He came to die on the cross and to take the eternal punishment that we deserved – the Perfect slain for the Imperfect.

There are many religions available today.  But the Christian faith stands apart from all the rest for this one thing:  the Bible teaches that no one can earn his way to Heaven.  Not by works, not by his own righteousness, not by living a chaste lifestyle.  The only way to Heaven is through Jesus Christ (John 14:6), believing that only He could die for our sins, and that in so doing, there is nothing more for us to do but to believe in the finished work on the cross.  While those of us who are saved do try to live a Godly life and do what pleases Him, we do it out of thanks, not as a way to earn our salvation.  We could never earn it; it is a free gift (Romans 6:23).

If I could only teach you one thing in life, it would be this:  a believing faith in Jesus’ death and resurrection is the only thing that can ever save you.  Understanding this truth is paramount to every other part of life.  Daddy and I pray every night that you and your brothers will grow up to love and serve the Lord.  We have no greater passion or urgency than to see you walk in truth.

The world will tell you that Christianity is a crutch that you don’t need, that to believe in the stories of the Bible is childish.  Truthfully, it can be intimidating to trust in Someone whom you’ve never seen.  However, I have witnessed His working in my life in so many amazing ways that I have no doubt that the God of the Bible is very real.  He Himself has promised to give us the faith needed to trust in Him (Ephesians 2:8-9).

So, sweet Little Princess, Daddy and I will continue to pray that you will grow up to be a Godly woman who puts God first, that you will follow Jesus’ example, and strive – with the help of the Holy Spirit – to honor the Lord in all you do.

All my love,

Mommy

Day 2: I'm An Imperfect Mommy

Dear Little Princess,

As much as I love being your mommy, you don’t need me to tell you that I’m imperfect.  I make mistakes, I yell too much, and I grow frustrated all too easily.  I want you to understand that I am a sinner saved by Grace, and that until we reach Heaven in the presence of Christ and are given new bodies, I still have my old nature to deal with here on Earth.  And honestly, I don’t deal with that old sin nature very well.  I forget that the Holy Spirit is guiding me and enabling me to do things the way the Lord wants me to.  I often choose to do things my own way, which results in sin.  I hate it, and it drives me crazy that I succumb to my old self so often.  I’m in good company, though:  the Apostle Paul struggled with the same things (Romans 7:15).

I hope that you can learn from my mistakes as well as my strong suits.  It’s easy to copy me in every way – including my sins – but know that you do not have to give in to the temptation to follow me in my weaknesses.  You need a Perfect Example to follow, and praise the Lord, He has provided One!  But I’m getting ahead of myself; that’s for tomorrow’s letter.

Thankfully, I’m not left to my own shortcomings, and neither are you.  The Holy Spirit fills in when I fail and rounds out my imperfect parenting.  When I stumble and fall, He lifts me up and sets me back on my feet, helping me the entire way.  This parenting thing, although very worth the effort, is also extremely hard.  I need the Holy Spirit’s help.  When things become to big for me to handle (and, really, I can’t handle anything without His help), I need Someone bigger than my problems to whom I can turn.  And the Spirit is always there, ready to help me through my day, teaching me patience, and prompting me to grow in Godliness.

For now, know that I am trying my best, with the Lord’s help, to set a Godly example for you, no matter how imperfect that might be at times.  I will continue to strive toward becoming more Christlike.  I pray that the Lord will continue to show me areas where I need to grow in my faith, where I need to use a softer tone of voice, where I need to trust Him fully.  I pray that you will learn from my imperfections as well as my strong suits, so that you will grow up to be a Godly young woman.

All my love,

Mommy

Day 1: I'm Thankful to be Your Mommy

Dear Little Princess,

I’m so thankful to be your mommy.  When we found out that you were going to be born, Daddy had just lost his job and our only car died.  We’d also just bought our house with a higher mortgage than the rent on our previous apartment.  It was not a fun time, but the excitement about you helped encourage us and gave us something to look forward to.  As a mommy of two wonderful little boys, I was eager to become a mommy to my little girl, too!

Oftentimes you’ll hear people complain about the high cost of raising children, the trouble kids cause, and the frustrations of parenthood.  While those things may be true at times, I want you to know that children are cause for celebration, are a source of great joy, and are gifts from the Lord.  You were our gift during a very hard time.

Your big brothers were so excited to have a baby “stister,” as Wing Man called you.  They helped me set up the crib, sort through a mountain of clothes that people gave us, and eagerly awaited your arrival.  It was so fun to see them so excited about your coming!

You were a very sweet baby and hardly ever cried.  You loved being held, you loved sitting in your bouncer, and you loved being entertained by your big brothers.  You were so content!  This was a huge blessing since Daddy was working nights and needed to sleep during the daytime.

When you were about two months old, I tried to get you to smile.  I encouraged you all week, but you only gave me half a smile here and there.  When Daddy noticed that I was trying to get you to grin, he walked over and tickled your feet.  Immediately, you broke out into a big, beaming smile!  He’s never let me forget that you smiled at him first.  I think he’s pretty proud of that!  “Mommy tried to get you to smile at her first, but Daddy got your first smile!” he’d say over and over.  This is just one example of the joy that you have brought to our family.

So, even if the Lord blesses you with a husband and children some day, know that there will be hard times.  Your brand new baby might vomit blood at four days old.  Your toddler might lose part of his finger in a door.  Your grade schooler might end up in intensive care with diabetes, or your husband might suffer from a chronic condition.

But the Lord also promises to be with you and to give you the strength to endure.  For me, He gave me you to help remind me that He is still good even when hard circumstances hit.  I am so thankful that He lent you to us, and I’m beyond thankful for the privilege of being your mommy.

All my love,

Mommy

31 Letters to My Little Princess

Dear Little Princess,

Starting tomorrow, I want to write a letter to you every day about some of the most important things in life.  There is so much more that I want to teach you than can possibly be jotted down in 31 letters, but I hope to include some of the greatest truths here for you to read and reread in the years ahead.  Some of the topics I want to cover are salvation, modesty, God's grace, and life's hardships.  I'll post each day's link onto this landing page so that you can easily access them any time you want to.

More than anything else, I want you to know that as much as I love you, God loves you even more.  He created you for His glory, and everything we do in life should be for His further glory.  Let's learn to honor Him together.

All my love,

Mommy

Day 1 - I'm Thankful to be Your Mommy

Day 2 - I'm An Imperfect Mommy

Day 3 - Jesus Is Our Perfect Example

Day 4 - You Are Created in God's Image

Day 5 - Protect Your Modesty

Day 6 - Learn to be A Good Friend

Day 7 - Do Hard Things

Day 8 - Don't Forget To Rest

Day 9 - Learn to be A Good Sister

Day 10 - Focus On Inner Beauty

Day 11 - Don't Neglect Your Appearance

Day 12 - Learn to be A Good Steward

Day 13 - Learn to be Discerning

Day 14 - When Daddy Met Mommy (Part 1)

Day 15 - When Daddy Met Mommy (Part 2)

Day 16 - On Choosing A Husband

Day 17 - Children Are A Blessing

Day 18 - Learn to be Flexible

Day 19 - You Can Love Pink When Mommy Loves Purple

Day 20 - Tomorrow Isn't Promised

Day 21 - Learn to Suffer Well

Day 22 - Why God Allows Suffering

Day 23 - Learn to Cook

Day 24 - Learn to Forgive Others

Day 25 - Learn to Forgive Yourself

Day 26 - Develop A Love of Reading

Day 27 - Find A Mentor

Day 28 - Find A Church Home

Day 29 - Learn to be Adventurous

Day 30 - Learn to be Gracious

Day 31 - Conclusion

A Life Lesson in Financial Stewardship

A life lesson in financial stewardship

Teachable moments pop up all the time, but I wasn't quite prepared for a sudden teaching opportunity on stewardship that came up last year.  Jon brought home something so bizarre that none of us could help staring at it in bewilderment.  (His parents found it in their garage, a remnant from the home's previous owners.)

It might be hard to tell, but that photo is of 38 one-dollar bills all laminated together.  Why on earth someone would do this and waste such a precious resource is beyond me.  It was a sorry sight and didn't take much calculating to figure out what percent of a typical paycheck was stuck in that plastic graveyard.

Instead of crying over the spilled milk, though, we turned it into a lesson for the kids.  We asked the spark plugs whether or not the person who had laminated his dollar bills had been wise with his money; whether or not it was a good idea to deface money; and whether or not there were better ways of preserving currency.  We then moved on to some deeper questions:  in what other ways do we waste possessions that could be compared to the laminated money?  What could we learn about stewardship from this odd object?

Next, we looked into ways of fixing the problem.  Jon had done some Googling that said occasionally banks would take the ruined money and exchange it for legal tender, so Monday the kids and I visited various banks to find out the validity of this claim.  Based on the gawking stares of numerous bank tellers, I'm pretty sure most of them had never seen anything so strange before.  While none of them were willing to exchange it, we were given the federal web site for damaged and defaced currency where we found instructions for mailing in the laminated bills.  Supposedly, we'll be reimbursed for the ruined 38 dollars.

We've not yet mailed the specimen to Washington's defaced currency agency, but it will be fun to find out what happens.  While we might never be able to redeem those 38 dollars, we were able to glean very valuable lessons on using wisdom, being good stewards, and thinking through our actions.  It was definitely worth the $38!

Update:  we did mail in the laminated money, but unfortunately, we never heard anything back from the office we mailed it to.  Since we sent it by certified mail and received notice that it was delivered, we're assuming that the office doesn't normally reimburse people for ruined currency.  Lesson learned!

Your turn:  Have you come across unexpected lessons?  What have you learned from them?  Have you ever dealt with ruined money?  How did you handle it?

A life lesson in financial stewardship

Finding Balance When There Isn't Any

Finding balance when there isn't any

I like to be organized. I like to be balanced. I like to be prepared. I like to be punctual. And for those of you who know me well, you're probably laughing right now, since you know that I'm NOT organized, balanced, prepared, or punctual.

The summer before we began homeschooling, I started stressing over how I was going to be a good wife, mom, housekeeper, and teacher. Much as I wished to be a good homemaker, I wasn't a competent housekeeper even before I took on the task of teaching the spark plugs. So how was I going to add their education to my already-full plate without dropping the ball in some other area?

And then something a friend asked really resonated with me: how do you find balance when there isn't any?

When there isn't one?

I had never before thought about the possibility that I was looking for a balance that simply didn't exist. I had assumed that, miraculously, I needed to find the missing key in order to do it all. But I think my friend was right. There simply isn't a key, or a balance, to be found. It's not there, or at least it doesn't exist as we see it in our minds.

After this mental breakthrough, I stopped stressing (as much). Each day, we try to get the bulk of our school work done, with a few household chores sprinkled throughout our day. And when the housework builds up to the point that it's inhibiting either our functionality or our health, we simply reverse our priorities. We try to get the bulk of our housework done while we listen to audio lessons (books on tape or podcasts, anyone?).

Finding balance when there isn't any

Am I neglecting the kids' education by doing so?  Not at all.  Not only are we still accomplishing lots of learning on our cleaning days, but I also realized early on that homeschooling has very little to do with workbooks and a great deal to do with life. Teaching children about home management is just as necessary as learning to count.  Keeping our home tidy is a good witness to others, since it enables us to have people over at the drop of a hat.  It's doing what's Biblical (see Titus 2).  And it encourages better learning on other days, since we're not constantly hunting for lost school books and misplaced pencils.

Plus, we can also incorporate learning into scrubbing bathroom sinks. We can sing through our educational songs while working. We can count the toys as we toss them into the toy box. We can stop to read a book before sliding it back on the shelf.

And, if the house is clean, I'm a happier person, which translates into a better teacher the following day.  The spark plugs gladly put up with a day of chores rather than deal with a constantly-grumpy mom.  And the kids are also recognizing the benefits of a clean house.  "Mom, I actually like it when my room is clean.  I have room to play with my Legos now!"  Turbo told me triumphantly.

This system of changing focus as needed isn't a perfect solution, but it's what's working for us at the moment. As our needs change, so will our strategies. These days, I find that I'm learning at least as much as the kids are. To me, that's really exciting!

Life truly isn't balanced, and it was quite silly of me for trying to make it so. This is yet another area where I'm learning to roll with life's hiccups. Perhaps someday I'll actually discover my sea legs instead of falling apart every time a wave of life hits!

Your turn:  How about you?  How do you manage homeschooling and homemaking?  What methods do you find most effective?  I'd love to know!

Finding balance when there isn't any

Drowning On Land: When Homeschooling Is Overwhelming

As a homeschool graduate, I of all people should have felt prepared to homeschool my own spark plugs.  I grew up around other home-schooling families, participated in homeschool co-ops, and watched my parents started their own cover school that still exists today.

So why, at the beginning of my home-schooling journey with my own kids, did I feel as though I were drowning...on land?

Being a homeschooled student is, I'm learning, a lot different from being the homeschooling teacher.  As a child, I was completely oblivious to the behind-the-scenes work my parents did, especially when it came to legal paperwork.   All I knew was that there was something called an affidavit that needed to be filed at some point (I wasn't even sure when it was due or whom to submit it to).  Beyond that, I didn't have a clue what was involved in legally homeschooling!

Making the decision to homeschool was easy for Jon and me since we were both homeschooled and loved it.  But putting it into practice wasn't easy at first.  I'm pretty comfortable with everything now that we're several years into our homeschooling journey, but several years back I was overwhelmed by the the options that had popped up since I'd graduated almost two decades ago.

It also seemed like my first-generation home-schooling friends had a much better handle on things than I did, which made me feel even more overwhelmed.  Most of them seemed to know what curriculum they wanted to use, when to file the paperwork with the state, and what their homeschooling philosophy was.

A philosophy for homeschooling?  I didn't even know that existed and consequently didn't have one for our family.  I wasn't even sure I knew what a homeschooling philosophy was.  I don't know whether or not my parents had a philosophy for their educating efforts.  It may be that this line of thinking became more popular in the years since I've graduated. Whatever the case, this was indeed something very new to me.

Thankfully, with time, I've grown more comfortable with homeschooling.  I no longer feel like I'm drowning, on land or anywhere else.  I now know that California only requires me to fill out an affidavit once a year in October.  We've settled on some great curriculum, like Doorposts, Apologia Science, Mystery of History, Life of Fred math, Classical Conversations memory work (not the weekly group class), and Spelling Power.  Although I haven't completely joined any specific homeschooling philosophy, I see benefits of both a Charlotte Mason approach and a classical education.  We're also involved in a couple of co-ops that have greatly enriched our homeschooling year.

Even though I grew up being homeschooled, I still felt like I was drowning when I started homeschooling.  I had a solid foundation underneath me, but the waters still rushed high.

If you're considering homeschooling or have already started and feel like homeschooling is overwhelming, take heart.  Know that every homeschooler feels apprehension at one point or another.  Pray about your decision; spend time researching; and ask veteran homeschoolers for advice.

Eventually, we'll all learn to swim.  And, Lord willing, none of us will drown in the process!

Your turn:  Are you either homeschooling currently or considering homeschooling in the future?  What aspects of it intimidate you the most?  Are there areas where you feel confident?  I'd love to hear!

Loving My Lazarus Experience

Throughout Scripture, we see over and over how Jesus worked through hopeless situations in order to display God's glory.  The man born blind went 40 years without sight before Jesus opened his eyes.  A sick woman suffered for 12 years before Jesus healed her.  Countless parents went through untold agony as evil spirits tried to kill their children before Jesus cast out the demons.  Even Jesus' close friend Lazarus died before Jesus performed a miracle and raised him back to life.  As unpleasant as suffering is, often it serves to heighten the relief when it does come.

When the blind man was a child, I'm sure he had no clue that one day he'd meet the Son of God and have his sight restored.  The blind man had to wait for four decades before he fully understood the purpose of his suffering.  And when Jesus' friend Lazarus died, many asked, "if Jesus could heal all those others, why couldn't He have prevented Lazarus from dying?"  Of course, those who questioned Jesus' ability didn't know that the best was yet to come when Jesus raised him from the dead instead of simply healing him from his infirmity.

2013 was the hardest year for me to date (2008 takes a close second when, 2 months after we bought our house, Jon lost his job, the car died, and we found out that Lauren was on the way - all within the same week).  Although I'd give anything to change the fact that Tyler has diabetes and has to inject insulin multiple times a day, I love what this year has taught me about trusting in God's sovereignty and seeing how He's working everything together for my good and to His glory.

When life began unraveling the summer of 2013, I couldn't see past putting one foot in front of the other.  When Lazarus grew sick and died, I don't think Lazarus' sisters Mary and Martha could have predicted that they'd see their brother alive on earth after he died, either.

And yet, for each difficulty this year, God provided me the measure of grace needed to get through the current hallway.  His timing was perfect.  He had plans bigger than any I could have imagined.  When He allowed Lazarus to die, He allowed it so that that His glory might shine more fully and so that more people would put their faith in Him.  When the frustrations of 2013 hit us, it was so that we'd more fully comprehend the greatness of our God and would better understand His kindness and grace, so that we would trust more readily that His way is far better than our own.

A familiar quote from C.S. Lewis appropriately sums up the lessons from our suffering:  "I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer.  You are Yourself the answer.  Before Your face questions die away.  What other answer could suffice?"  I didn't necessarily question why He allowed the trials that He did, but I am finding that He Himself silences any questions that might try to surface.

I don't have to love the fact that Tyler has diabetes or that Jon thought he would lose his job (it's now going much better).  But I do love the Lord more for His care for me during these and other trials that we faced this year.  I can love the lessons that each Lazarus experience brings, because they bring me closer to the One Who brought back Lazarus from the dead.

Your turn:  What hallways are you facing right now?  What parts of Scripture are encouraging you?  Share with me in the comments so that I can better pray for you!

Grandpas Weren't Supposed to Die

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Last weekend didn’t go the way I had planned.

At all.

I was planning for Sunday to be a busy day:  Jon and the kids had coffee fellowship setup at church; I was scheduled to play piano; and we had commitments in between services in preparation for our church’s annual Christmas Sunday the following week.  To get ready for all of our church activities, I thought that Saturday would be a good day to take things easy and to rest up.  It seemed like a perfect plan.

Saturday morning, I had a great visit with my dad.  He was doing yard work while Mom and my sister were at a baby shower, then they all planned to drive down to see my grandparents and to take them out to dinner.  That sounded like a lovely plan, too.

Plans are good – necessary, even.  But just because you plan on something doesn’t mean that it’s set in stone.

I wasn’t expecting a text from my sister telling me that Grampie had collapsed and hit his head on the concrete kitchen floor moments before they arrived for that planned-on dinner.

I knew it was bad even before she followed up with the doctor’s report after he’d been taken by ambulance to the nearest trauma center.  As the hours wore on and the news grew increasingly grim – a stroke, two brain bleeds, broken bones, and punctured lung – I saw my pretty little plans crumbling.

So I made new ones.

We’d go to church for setup and piano playing and find volunteers to take over the rest of our obligations so that I could pop over and see Grampie at the trauma center, “just in case.”  Sometime in the middle of service, we received more detailed information, including the doctor’s suggestion that family needed to come if they were going to do so, and the sooner, the better.

I thought I would make it in time.

I didn’t.

I would have dearly loved to have seen him alive one last time.  But that’s the thing about God’s ways:  His ways aren’t mine.  They’re far better.  Even when I cannot see how that can always be, I can trust that they are because He has promised me that it is so.  Maybe He knew that I couldn’t handle being there to see Grampie slip away.  I may never know the reason He prevented me from one last hand squeeze, but I do know that God is good and that He has my best in mind in every situation.

Although death comes to all living things on Earth now, it wasn’t that way in the beginning.  When the Lord God first created the Heavens and the Earth, He said, “It is good.”  But when sin – and therefore death – entered, it was no longer good.  At all.

Flowers weren’t supposed to wilt.  Animals weren’t supposed to perish. Leaves weren’t supposed to fall from the trees.

Grandpas weren’t supposed to die.

Grandpas weren't supposed to die

As hard as it is to lose a loved one, Death is inescapable.  It is not good.  It is not as God originally intended.  Yet, the Lord can and has redeemed even Death by offering us Eternal life through Christ Jesus.  For those who believe in the finished work on the Cross, Death can remind us of the beauty of Heaven, where Death will be unknown, where sorrow will be forgotten.  That’s how the Lord can be glorified even in something as sad, unpleasant, and awful as Death, because it still points toward Him and Heaven and Eternal Life.

Sorrow may last for a night, but for the believer, joy comes in the morning.  He brings forth beauty from ashes once again.

Your turn:  Have you lost a loved one?  If so, I’d love to pray for you.  Let me know in the comments.